You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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