I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
