We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize