It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
