I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
