VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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