Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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