and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize