i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
