the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
