It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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