Buhtt sex?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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