i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
