I seem to have left my pride at pride
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize