I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
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Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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