Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
