***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
