Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
