Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
