I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
