New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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