guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
