ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
