At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
