So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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