Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
