and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
