Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
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