your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
