if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
