He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize