Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
