I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
