she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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