Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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