He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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