RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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