omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
