She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
