Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
