Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
