he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im about as happy as oj after his trial
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
