His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
