It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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