My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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