You made me cry and you don't even care
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
