Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm at about main and main street
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
