ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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