Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
