Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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