I puked a lego.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I've blown a few things in my day
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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