i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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