I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
