so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How's work?
Spinning.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
