if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize