the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
