i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
