I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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