morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
