I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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