I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
