if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I still have a little drunk in my system
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
