If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
