Having a random hookup so left but love u
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
