you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
