he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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